Sunday, February 1, 2015

My Brush with God

My favourite twitter account is God. I have followed it religiously. I had been one of the almost 1.8 million followers who eagerly awaited his witty one to two sentence tweets. Whilst they will undoubtedly offend any given large proportion of the population, they equally provide comic relief for an adulating audience. I love this account and it is one of the first accounts that I recommend all new twitter subscribers follow. Each day, I would look forward to God’s latest instalments and I would retweet my favourites to my own humble following.

This all changed when I saw the following tweet appear on the timeline. I often screenshot the ones that I like for possible future use in a presentation on social media where I would highlight the use of humour to gather an audience. 

I saw the following tweet:-

I screenshot it and then was trying to retweet it but discovered that it had been deleted. I then tweeted to God with the cheeky line as follows

He was clearly not impressed when he send me a private direct message as follows:-

Clearly God was not impressed.  You dare to take up a point with God, you run the risk of him unleashing his power over us.  I shamefully dared to do so.

Immediately following this I was placed into purgatory and blocked by the account.  This is the first time that I am aware of being blocked on twitter.  If others have blocked me, then I have not known about it.  

Anybody who follows God knows that the account is not for one who is sensitive.  He will unleash his fury and nobody is immune from the wrath of God.  I am now God-less but will now survive on screenshots of his best tweets sent to me by DM by friends. Yes, I could set up another twitter account but this be trying to escape from the purgatory that I have been banished to. I need to do my time and hopefully one day I will be released.  Please pray for me.  Please tell him that I am sorry.

(David Javerbaum is a well known comedy writer in the US. On social media, he is particularly known for his very popular account known as @TheTweetofGod.)

Addendum 2 February 2015

Last night I was messaged by God who essentially stated that he hoped that I had learned my lesson in purgatory and that I was being welcomed back into the promised land. I had been forgiven. I thank everybody for their prayers and on line appeals for forgiveness. Clearly he was listening.

Once again, this is my favourite Twitter account. I have seen him put followers into periods of time out in purgatory with the usual expletive laiden barrage but he is always forgives.  Whilst I knew my time out was temporary, it was for how long that I was unsure about. Do follow @TheTweetofGod but don't take it too seriously because it never is.

The 2nd Addendum 2 February 2015

I had a dream. Crazy dream. It was good whilst it lasted.
For those who know, God only ever follows one account. It used to be Ricky Gervais but he later dropped him for Justin Bieber.  This of course fits well with his book called the Book of Biebs.

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