Usually when there are complaints to be
made about travel, it will be to do with a provider whether it is a tour
operator, tourist venue, airline or hotel.
Some of you may have seen my periodic twitter rants on travel complaints
– instead, mine is directed at fellow air passengers. In order, here are the five of the things I particularly find
annoying.
1. Bare feet – as far as I am aware, no
airlines that I have flown with have a policy on bare feet during flight. They do however, mandate that foot wear must
be worn for boarding or disembarking (not ‘de-planing’ – if this was to be an appropriate term, then
getting on a plane would be called ‘planing’ - which joker came up with that
moronic term! – apologies for the extra little rant on the side here.) Imagine you have just reclined back in your
seat and have just closed your eyes – all of a sudden you become aware of the
pungent smell of foot odour. Just
because they have boarded from exotic places such as Bangkok or Singapore does not
make the fruitiness of the flavor any more tolerable! You then look down and see the distorted
looking nails from chronic fungal infection, not to mention the peeling skin
from tinea. Apart from the assault on
our visual and olfactory senses, you see these people put their foot up on
their knee and see it touching the seat in front and side of the cabin smearing
the foot love on the internal plane surfaces.
You then see the love metastasise as they climb over the two seats to
reach the aisle to go to the toilet.
Lovely tinea of the feet
Lovely fungal nails
2. Legs apart syndrome. Yes, this is the man with the hydrocele. These men have pathologic scrotal swelling
that necessitate them to sit with their legs apart so that they invade your
personal space. There is an unwritten
rule that the airspace immediately in front of your seat is for your personal use. Of course there could not be any other reason
why somebody would sit with their legs so widely, would there? To remedy this, it sometimes takes an applied
equal
and opposite force but eventually your fight to reclaim your airspace will prevail – as gross as it is to
have such a large surface area of contact with a total stranger, just close
your eyes and chant “Newton”
Hydocele is a good reason to have to sit with legs apart
3. The super halogen light effect – the
cabin lights have been dimmed and all the windows have been closed except for
the jerk across the seat row next to the window who decides to open it so he or
she can read. It’s like a super powerful
halogen light that is shone on to a stunned kangaroo and is about to be
shot. During a night flight when trying
to get some sleep, you can forget it.
Flight attendants can ask them to close the window but if passengers do not wish
to, they will not go as far as instructing them to do so as it is not against the rules (airline dependent
of course).
4. People who won’t shut (shout) up. When you have trouble hearing, there is that
natural tendency to speak louder. When
they natter for hours like they’re speaking into a mobile phone with poor
reception.
Almost enough to make you re-think your support of gun control
5. People hogging the flight
attendant. You are trying to get the
attention of the flight attendant who has been quarantined by passengers who
don’t want to stop telling him or her about every detail of their holiday.
***
When there are no specific rules to say
that something cannot be done, I have found flight attendants to often be
reluctant to take action. As
much as you do not wish to have conflict, so do they. For a growing number of airlines, they really
don’t give a damn about your comfort, they just want to get to the end of their
shift – another flight down before they reach their retirement work
entitlements.
Generally, I can put up with crap from
airlines, tour operators and hotels. For
the most part they either genuinely try to fix any problems that arise or are
totally disingenuous about concern for your inconvenience and don’t give a
damn (if you fly a budget airline, what do you expect?). For selfish fellow passengers, I think it is
time to make a stand and ask them to correct their behavior with the threat to
shame them through social media – lets not put up with this crap anymore.